No Correlation

theongoingrealityshow {at gmail}
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~ Sunday, September 6 ~
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“ What is it that makes children like me? And is it the same thing that makes people yell stuff at me from moving cars?
— Guy on the train, talking to a girl.
Tags: overheard
8 notes
~ Saturday, August 8 ~
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“ I sometimes get the feeling than there’s no consequence to anything I do. If I put a carrot in my mouth and it tasted like an orange, I wouldn’t be surprised.
— Guy on the train, holding a golf umbrella.
Tags: overheard
10 notes
~ Wednesday, July 22 ~
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“ STDs? Mate, I was more worried she’d give me post traumatic stress.
— Traffic cop at work.
Tags: overheard
2 notes
~ Tuesday, July 14 ~
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Two guys in the lunch room with iPhones

  • PC Dyslexic: See? Under the video it has a link for "View on iPod or iPhone"
  • Modern Apprentice: Yeah, but the page itself isn't optimised for the iPhone, look, watch how fast my one loads.
  • PC Dyslexit: Wow, is that on the 3G?
  • Modern Apprentice: Yeah, it's just the 3G speed, but Spankwire has an optimised for iPhone page, so it loads much faster than Tube8.
Tags: overheard
1 note
~ Sunday, July 12 ~
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  • Sgt Policeman: Rome, that's where the Pope lives.
  • The Temp: No, the Pope lives in the Vatican City, it's an entirely separate country.
  • Sgt Policeman: ...
  • Like a Boss: You'll have to forgive The Temp, he's overqualified.
  • Sgt Policeman: Where'd you get him from?
  • Like a Boss: The in-house agency.
  • Sgt Policeman: Can you send him back?
Tags: overheard
4 notes
~ Thursday, July 2 ~
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“ No no, not erotic. I said neurotic.
— Female solicitor at work.
Tags: overheard
3 notes
~ Saturday, June 13 ~
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Overheard at the hairdressers

  • Hairdresser: What kind of a look are we going for then?
  • Woman: Well, I have to go to my ex's wedding tomorrow,
  • Hairdresser: Ooh, so what would you like me to do?
  • Woman: In an ideal world I'd like you to kill him, but as this is a hair salon I'll probably have to settle for a haircut.
Tags: overheard
8 notes
~ Saturday, June 6 ~
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“ That would be useful if I was capable of being happy.
— Guy on the phone near the canals
Tags: overheard
6 notes
~ Friday, April 10 ~
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“ For a month he took a photograph every time he thought of her. Then he printed all of them out and stuck them to her wall whilst she slept.
— Girl on the phone on the train
Tags: overheard
6 notes
~ Thursday, April 2 ~
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“ This diet’s got me eating so much fibre I shit more than I piss.
— Dramatically obese woman on the train
Tags: overheard
3 notes
~ Wednesday, April 1 ~
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“ If we get banned from the trains for life, who’s going to take you to hospital?
— Heavy metal mother to her punk rock daughter.
Tags: overheard
1 note
~ Tuesday, March 31 ~
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Whispering Middle Aged Couple On The Train

  • Man: Leave me alone.
  • Woman: Never.
  • Man: I'm serious.
  • Woman: So am I.
Tags: overheard
8 notes
~ Sunday, March 29 ~
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“ It was very good, but I didn’t enjoy it.
— Some teenager outside the cinema
Tags: overheard
1 note
~ Thursday, March 26 ~
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Teenage Girl And Middle Aged Man on A Factory Floor

  • Man: So, you're all grown up now.
  • Girl: I couldn't help it.
Tags: overheard
2 notes
~ Sunday, March 22 ~
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Scruffy Kid and Old Man at an Indian Wedding

  • Old Man: In England, do the whites give you trouble?
  • Scruffy Kid: No, not at all.
  • Old Man: Even if they do, you should be kind to them. Compared to us, they are all orphans.
Tags: overheard
3 notes